Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
