dude i'm inner monologue high
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
