but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
