he shaved USA in his pubs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Mom said you looked used
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
