my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
