I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
