i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
