living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
