you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
