Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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