Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dick very happy bro
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
