That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
