We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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