they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
