I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
