I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
