At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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