He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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