she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we're making bets on your personal life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize