I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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