help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
