Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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