i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
