I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
