I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
