My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
