My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
