i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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