a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
