I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
