I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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