all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We're too hungover to prance.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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