he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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