two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
