hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was confusing and full of hummus
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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