i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
