You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well you can't waste a boner
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
