You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
