By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
