so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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