he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
