Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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