shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
