I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
