This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
