i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
