all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i've created a new STD.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
