So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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