So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
