If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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