why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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