if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
